The Third Wall
by Saint H
Summary: 3rd version of the classic comedy fic! The Titans are aware that they're in a fanfiction, and they've lost all inhibitions, morals, and sanity. Why? Mainly for the lulz.
1. Classico Introdictiono

_Saint H's Here We Go Again Author's Note: Yo. This is the third time a version of the original fic '3rd Wall? We don't need no 3rd Wall!' has been posted. The first version was deleted due to excessively vulgar language, blatant suggestiveness(for humorous effect), and (this was, honestly, probably what was the killer, as it was when they started cracking down on songfics back in the day) lyrics that were not owned by yours truly. Not but a few months ago I decided to repost it... unfortunately I found it subpar._

_Now I've rethought it... and I've finally sorted out all my old files. Now with a new touch and shine on an older story, here it is. The third version ... 'The Third Wall'._

_... It's like a Delux Author's Edition... or some shit._

_Disclaimer: I own jack shit._

**C**_h_**a**_p_**t**_e_**r _1: Liquor and Pizza... Mmmm..._**

His footfalls sounded as Cyborg plodded down the empty hall of Titans' Tower, humming to himself with a bounce in his step.

Why, you may (or may not if you're lame) be asking yourself?

Simple. The story is rated M…..

Duh, what else?

After a few more moments of excited humming, he broke out in to full fledged rap, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEasterEgg225OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH! Shit, shit, shit, shit, damn, damn, damn, damn, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, sex, sex, sex, seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexxxa!

"I love being able to cuss, yea I do!

"I love being able to shout 'Yo, **FUCK YOU**!'

"It makes me feel good n' just a lil' horny,

"Being inside an M rated story!"

Cy finished his rap by jumping into the air and clicking his heels together. "Leprechaun maneuver!"

He entered the main room thru a pair of doors, that gave him a _swish_ as they opened.

"Yo Cyborg!" Robin shouted from the couch, in a white tee and jeans, "How's it going man?"

"Yo Robin, you don't look like you! Where'd the pansy green tights go?" Cyborg asked, looking him over.

"Oh, they're still on underneath the jeans... but anyway it's an M rated story so I can do whatever the hell I want to!" Robin explained, "For example… Hey Star!"

Starfire came flying into the room, "Yes friend Robi-!" She couldn't finish her sentence because Robin had glomped her and the two were now in the process of making out on the floor. Cyborg watched in amazement.

"Wow! This rocks hard… huh. Wonder where BB is?" Cyborg pondered, wanting to cause M rated mayhem with his cohort.

"Check… outsi- mmm" Starfire said pulling away from Robin for a split second.

Cyborg stared wide-eyed at the two, "Y-yea, I'll do that…"

…

…

…

Cyborg unzipped his metal fly while watching his two friends freak…

….

…

_thud, thud, thud, thud,_

**_----------------------------------------------------------- _**

_**OUTSIDE!  
------------------------------------------------------------ **_

"OH BEAST BOY!"

"RAVEN!"

"OH-OH BEAST BOYYYYYYA!"

"RAVEEEEEEEN!"

"Hmm, well if I had just been looking at this in type I might have thought the two were having sex." Cyborg said, watching the two fight. They were fighting dirty, pulling hair, biting and such. However as the half human watched he grew surprised as the two soon turned from violent to passionate, right out in front of Titans Tower.

"_RAVEN!"_

"_OH BEAS-T BOY! DON'T STOP- DON'T –EVER STOP!"_

"Well, it's about time for me to be heading on back inside." Cyborg said, eyes shifting back and forth nervously as he started walking away slowly.

…

…

…

Cyborg looked back…

…

…

Cyborg unzipped his metal fly while watching his two friends freak…

….

…

_thud, thud, thud, thud,_

**_--------------------------------------- _**

_MAIN ROOM! _  
**_---------------------------------_**

By the time he got back Robin and Star had already vacated to a more sensual location. Leaving the poor robo-man with nothing to do.

"Alright, violent bloody video game time! Boo yah, son!"

…

Erm… right.

Anyway, the Cyborg threw out the pansy little racing games that were all he used to be able to play and put in some GTA. After killing some cops, humping a prostitute then killing her to get his money back, robbing a bank, fighting some gangsters, disturbing the piece, blowing up a nunnery, pissing off all the soccer moms in America, and stealing some candy from a baby, Cyborg got bored.

Poor Cyborg.

(insert sad frowning face here)

"Well," the robodude said, "I think I'll do something I've always wanted to do." and with that, he sprinted to the T-Car and took off into the City.

**4**_5 _**m**_i_**n**_u_**t**_e_**s **_l_**a**_t_**e**_r…_

Cyborg made his way to the main room carrying the precious cargo he had picked up while he was out. He arrived to find his four companions carrying out life long desires that they never could do unless the story was rated M, lets watch now shall we?

Robin and Beast Boy where looking up porn on the big screen, masturbating furiously.

Raven and Starfire? They were doing their nails and gossiping about who was getting fat… being great big bitches. But anyway… back to the first scenario.

Beast Boy was on the couch with a blanket over himself, while Robin was sitting in the computer chair up close.

Suddenly, something hit Robin in the back of the head.

He turned on Beast Boy angrily, "Dude, what was that? Did you just throw something at m-"

Beast Boy grinned evilly at him… "What Robin? It's just hair gel. Hehehe."

"… I hate you."

Cyborg looked on angrily, **"YO!"** he yelled, as to get their attention. "You two." He said pointing at Robin and Beast Boy.

"Us?" they said meekly, pointing at themselves as they grew smaller in the shadow of their large companion.

"Yea… got something to ask you… Why would you beat your meat when you have these two lovely ladies?"

Beast Boy hopped of the couch, flexing his nonexistent green muscles proudly, "I was about to turn Raven's brains into stew with my massive wang so I had to stop after she had her ninth orgasm."

Raven just looked up from her conversation with Starfire and nodded, humming in a satisfied fashion.

"Starfire said I was too small… WAAAHH!" Robin said, lip quivering, before he started bawling.

Starfire just looked up from her conversation with Raven and nodded, humming in a disappointed fashion.

"Ok, well, in that case, don't get anything on the floor. Now get ready to party, cuz Cy's got the kegs."

"_WOOHOO!_ the four screamed in excitement.

….

….

"Guys, don't ever say 'woohoo' like that again or I _will_ murder you both in cold blood." Cyborg said honestly.

"Shut up and open 'em!" Beast Boy yelled dumbassily.

"BB, I doubt you've ever even drank before." Cyborg countered, to which Beast Boy shut up due to ownage.

"Please friends, I know I was excited and screamed the 'weee' with you all but, what is a keg?" Starfire asked, curious.

"It's something, very, very good Star. Especially when you drink it with this." Robin said, holding up a roofie.

**_------------------------------------- _**

**4 f3w h0ur5 l4t3r (_b3h0ld m4h 1337 sk1ll5_)  
_ --------------------------------------------_**

"SIT WITH ELDERS OF A GENTLE RACE! THIS WORLD HAS SELDOM SEEN- they talk… um, what the hell was I doin'?" Beast Boy asked in confusion as he forgot the song he was singing.

_"Shut up and take me you green bastard!"_ Raven said throwing herself at him.

"So then the glifbob said to the glibernilk, zornzvabarg!" Starfire said giggling madly at her own joke. Cyborg and Robin had no clue what the alien was talking about, but they were laughing too. Mostly because they were drunk like hell, and would have been laughing if someone had said the word 'toe' in a funny voice. So it didn't take much. Plus they were both transfixed by the way her boobs bounced up and down when she laughed. Cyborg, the most sober one in the tower (well he is the biggest, and half robot, so why not) soon got up and stared at the empty kegs, he glanced over at the clock.

" 1:24" he said to himself, he then noticed his stomach rumbling, "Hey Yaaaall!" he said in a sing song voice, "Lets go get some pizza!"

"Yea!" shouted a naked Beast Boy, "AND SOME MORE BEER!"

_"__Shut up and get back to business!" _Raven yelled menacingly, shoving his face… somewhere.

"Great, where are my keys." Cyborg said, looking around.

**_---------------------------------------------------_**

_Later at the pizza place…  
** ------------------------------------------**_

"CHUGGA LUG! CHUGGA LUG! CHUGGA LUG! CHUGGA LUG!" Everyone yelled as Robin attempted to down a liquor and pizza smoothie. Mmmm, now that's the breakfast of champions! He finished it and wiped his mouth with his glove,

"That wasn't so b-LAH!" as he threw up all over the table.

"Hah! Lightweight." Cyborg said, guzzling down his fifth liquor and pizza smoothie.

"Yes, the drinks made of keg and the pizza are most glorio-_hic_! Glori-_hic_! Glori-_hic! _Oooooh... to poo with it."

_Over at another table…_

"Ladies, ladies, there's enough Beast Boy for all!" he said as a slew of girls surrounded him, tearing his clothes off. This pissed Raven off of course.

_"STAY AWAY FROM MY KOOL-AID YOU WHORES!"_ she screeched, blasting 12 of them into oblivion with her dark energy. The rest ran away.

"Hey Raven…" Beast Boy said drunkenly, sounding like a dying cow.

Raven almost jizzed herself anyway, _"Come here you sexy piece of man green meat!"_ she said throwing herself at him.

**_------------------------------------ _**

_Later that nig- er, rather morning…_  
**_-----------------------------------_**

It was the dawn of the morning and all through the Tower,

All the Titans had been passed out for more than one hour,

Robin opened his eyes, **_"FUCK! MY HEAD!"_** He writhed on the floor, grasping his cranium. He had an intense headache the likes of which he had never experienced. Around the Tower three similar yells could be heard, not knowing what was going on the Titans converged to the main room where Robin had been sleeping on the floor. The door slid open.

"I feel like a got a glubertop shoved in my rijepvol!" Starfire said, clasping her head while walking in.

"_BRAIN! BLEEDING! KILL ME… NOW!"_ Robin said, still writhing on the floor.

"Dude, stop yelling, it feels like I have needles on the inside of my skull and your making it worse!" Beast Boy moaned. He got a little greener than usual for a second and then grabbed his butt cheeks. "I think I got the runs!"

A dark portal appeared in the room and Raven appeared out of it, rubbing her temples furiously, "You idiot, you don't get the runs from a hangover!"

"Tell that to my ass!" the changeling said, running to the bathroom.

"Please, my head hurts and I feel horrible. Why is this?" the red head asked Raven as she poured herself some coffee.

"_CRAINIUM…HURTS! PAAAAIIIIIIIIN!"_ Robin said, writhing a little more furiously now, having spasms every once in a while.

"We're hungover Star, it happens when you get drink." Raven said, getting the Aspirin from the cupboard.

"Please Raven, I drink liquids all the time and do not feel like this. And what are we hung above? I feel do not feel suspended above something."

"**_UGH! Ok Star, listen to me!"_** Raven said, eyes glowing red, **_"When you drink alcohol your body has to bitchslap you back because life has to suck! Just drink the coffee and take the painkillers and SHUT THE SUPER-DANDY-FUCK UP!"_** The girl then sank into a dark portal that likely led to her own room. Her alien friend then poured herself some of the dark liquid called 'coffee' and the odd shaped capsules Raven had swallowed.

The door slid open again, "Oh man," said Beast Boy, now more pale than anything, "I didn't know my body could make that much shit. For a second there I wasn't even sure it would flush." He walked over to the couch and collapsed.

A few moments later the door slid open again, "Hey Y'all! Howzit hangin?" a cheery Cyborg greeted to his friends. The loud proclamation caused them all to grasp their foreheads and moan. "Oh wait that's right, y'all get hangovers."

"Friend Cyborg, could you please be so kind as to, _SHUT THE FUCK UP!_"

"Yea dude, my head's killing me, and I've got the runs." Beast Boy said pathetically from the couch.

"So that's what that was!" Cyborg said, waving a hand in front of his nose, "Man that stank don't go away! You smelly ass cretin. Do us all a favor and use the air freshener next time you do that man."

"Geeze Cyborg, how come you're not hungover?" Robin asked with absolute lucidity.

"Well, my cybernetic parts drains the alcohol from my systems completely once I go to sleep. It's a natural reason why life rules when you're not natural!" he said, giving two thumbs up and a big smile.

"I hate you." Beast Boy muttered from the couch.

"I second that motion." Robin said plainly.

Cyborg rose a brow at the caped teen, "Weren't you writhing on the floor in pain?"

"Oh yea, damn… _AAAUUUUUGGG!"_ Robin said falling backwards in pain.

**_-------------------------- _**

**A**_ f_**e**_w _**h**_o_**u**_r_**s**_ l_**a**_t_**e**_r …**  
-------------------------**_

"Well I'm feeling better!" Beast Boy said, returned to his original color.

"My insides have returned to their normal feeling of warmth and fuzziness!" Starfire cheerfully, hugging herself.

"'Bout time, I was getting bored listening to you guys bitch." Cyborg said with relief, putting away his Hustler issue.

"I feel better too, except my vag is sore from Beast Boy's wang attacking it all yesterday." Raven said in her normal monotone.

"That was _waaay_ too much information!" Cyborg said wide-eyed.

"Oh yes, I'm awesome! Go Beast Boy, and your horse cock! Get funkai!" Beast Boy tap-danced around the room.

"Please friends, what is a 'vag' and what is a 'wang' and why did friend Beast Boy harm friend Raven?" Starfire asked curiously.

"Ummm" the three chimed in unison.

Robin was still writhing on the floor in pain, _"AAAARRRRRRGGG! INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE!"_

"**INSANE IN THE BRAIN!" **The other four Titans followed up, causing Robin's headache to reach such a point that he passed out from the pain.

….

…

"Sooooo, what now?" Beast Boy said, bored.

"Well, you and Robin both got laid this chapter and I still haven't!" Cyborg said angrily.

Suddenly and for no apparent reason the door slid open once again, and a tallthin girl with blonde hair came in, "I'm back! **(Who didn't see that coming from a mile away? Oh…right) **Beast Boy we can fall in love again!"

"Tch, screw that noise. I'm with Raven now, sorry babe." Beast Boy said smugly from the couch while Raven came over and sat on his lap and nibbled his ear while giving Terra a he's-my-Kool-Aid-now-so-you-can-just-back-off-bitch glare.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she said falling to her knees. Robin and Cyborg, being guys, just laughed at the general misery emitting from the person that wasn't them.

"Oh, I am most sorry friend Terra, but it is glorious to see you back!" Starfire said embracing the girl.

"Thank you so much Star. You're such a good friend." Terra said hugging her back.

"_Murderous slut."_ Starfire said under her breath.

"What was that?" Terra asked.

"Oh… nothing." Starfire cooed sweetly.

"Welp, that was fun, but as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I still haven't been laid in this story, what a crock of shit!" Cyborg complained.

Terra stood up quickly, "I'll let you screw me! I've always wanted to sleep with a black man!"

"Hmmm, now where would I find someone, damn there are so few places." Cyborg said, deep in thought.

"Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!" Terra said, waving her hand in the air.

"Beside, most women are who aren't scared of the masculine aura I exude are overwhelmed by the idea of doing a robotically enhanced black dude." Cyborg said smugly.

Terra jumped up and down in front of him, "I want you to bang me!"

Cyborg looked down at her slowly, then shrugged, "Hey, a vag is a vag! Plus I've always had a thing for blonde white chicks." he said practically.

"Boo yah! Score one for Terra!" the blonde girl celebrated.

**_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- _**

_So it begins... again... (A/N: Some of the chapters after this will be edited versions of older chapters and some will be bran' torture spankin' new. Also, the following chapters won't have so many author's notes. If any. So, peace easy, and Good Night.)_**_  
_**


	2. General Retardation

**C**_h_**a**_p_**t**_e_**r _2: General Retardation_**

"So kids, in conclusion," Cyborg said to the elementary school class he was talking to, "butt sex is the best sex."

The kids stared at the Titan, shell-shocked.

The teacher stood up haughtily, "Mr. Cyborg, I don't know why you decided to just barge into our classroom uninvited and fill these children's heads with your poison but if you don't leave now I will be forced to call the police!"

"FINE!" Cyborg said, putting all his models he used to illustrate his subject back into his mechanical chest cavity, "SEE IF I EVER COME BACK TO THIS SCHOOL AND DO A PUBLIC RELATIONS TALK!"

The teacher yelled back, "WE DIDN'T ASK YOU TO COME! YOU JUST CAME IN UNANNOUNCED!"

Cyborg shook his head as he walked out the door, "Oh how I wish I could believe or even begin to understand that!"

_SLAM!_

The teacher sighed at the door, the thudding sounds of the metallic Titan's stomps growing quieter as he left the school, "Besides, we all know oral is the best sex."

The middle-aged woman looked down at a blonde ten year old, she smiled and ruffled his hair with her hand "Isn't that right, Johnny?"

"Y-Yes ma'am."

**333**

"Look, Robin, I really want to thank you for coming."

"Sure thing, Slade." The Boy Wonder said, sitting down at an outdoor café table. A waitress came by with two cups of coffee.

"I ordered it just how you like it." Slade said, his one eye flitting away nervously.

Robin took a tentative sip, "Hmm, black with two sugars, perfect."

"Yeah." Slade nodded, pouring some of his own coffee thru the slits in his mask… unfortunately a lot of it hit the metal dividers and slid down his mask into his lap.

…

"Look, Robin, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about that whole… Apprentice thing. I hope we can still be friends."

"Oh come on Slade, you know me. I leave work at work."

Slade let out a sigh of relief, "Thank god, I was really worried I'd pissed you off with that one."

Robin gave him a deep, meaningful look thru his eyemask, "Slade, I could _never_ stay mad with you."

Suddenly, inexplicably, and for no apparent reason the two now had on cowboy hats, leather chaps, and were up in the hills somewhere, far away from the café.

….

Slade looked up at the author sky, "OK, That's really not cool. We are just friends! There's no need to make us gay! That's completely immature!"

"Speak for yourself." Robin said huskily as he jumped Slade.

"Oh-OH GOD! HELP! MY NAME IS SLADE AND I NEED AN ADULT! ROBIN IS RAPING ME!"

"Yeah Slade! Take it like that!"

"MOMMY!"

"You know you like it, Slade!"

"N-n-not a-again!"

**333**

Cyborg drove down the road in the T-Car, bouncing to his own beat,

"Well I'm in da T-CAR!

Yea in da T-car I get real far,

Wit da ladies and wit da supahstahs!

When I'm ridin' in da T-CAR!

Yea I gots da bass!"

Random pedestrians look up from their activities as the T-Car passes along, becoming back up singers, "_That bass."_

"So many decibels it melt yo face!" _"Melt yo face!"_

"Ridin' dirty but I never leave no trace," _"He's so good."_

"Even if I did it wouldn't matter no ways," _"Oh no?"_

"Because da T-Car'll win ery race!"

One little girl pedestrian with blonde pigtails piped up for her solo, _"Damn straight, fucka!"_

"Cuz I'm ridin' in da T-CAR!" _"T-car!"_

"Yea in da T-Car I get real far!" _"So far!"_

"Wit da ladies and wit da supahstahs" _"Butt sex!"_

"When I'm ridin' in da T-Car!"

….

There was silence accept for the humming of the tires. Pedestrians stopped singing along with Cyborg's rap and went back to their normal lives as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

…

Raven sat in the passenger seat, eyes wide with horror, "Whu-what, the fuck, was that?"

**333**

Starfire rushed into the main room, something was very different about her outfit.

"Friends! Today is the start of Mut-Chu! The Tamaranian festival of week-long nudity!"

…

….

….

"_We're in."_

**333**

Beast Boy and Cyborg were hanging out, chillin'.

"So," Beast Boy started, "I was fucking this guy in the ass one time."

"Yea," Cyborg nods casually.

"Then he turns around and starts licking my balls and I'm like, 'Dude, what are you gay?'"

"Don't'cha hate it when that happens?"

**333**

Raven walks down the halls to her room, mumbling tiredly to herself. She opens the door and walks in, taking off her cloak. She flips the lights on and throws her cloak to the side.

Her glance slides up and falls on something she didn't expect.

Jericho, naked except for a leopard skin thong, laying spread eagle on her bed, smiling seductively.

…

…

…

…

…

…

Raven steps to the side and opens her down, with a pointing finger she says, "Get… Out."

Jericho's head falls... and then his cranium follows suit.


	3. Hide and Seek

**C**_h_**a**_p_**t**_e_**r**_**3: Yeah, that's right, just like that. Oh, a little lower…. Yeaaaah.**_

"Oooh, poo." Starfire mumbled to herself and Raven, "I cannot find any trace of the Mumbo anywhere."

Raven sat in a bright yellow and lime green booth, resting her head on her arm that was propped on a colorful tabletop depicting a cartoon golden calf, "That's because Robin is impotent and sent us to a family-oriented fast food chain to look for an illusion casting super-thief."

"Hmm," Starfire ignored the shot to Robin, "I cannot seem to think of anywhere else the Mumbo could be hiding. I have already checked the playpen thrice, as well as the pit of balls."

A couple of guys sitting in a booth muttered to eachother, _"I bet she checked the pit of balls."_

"_Maybe she'd like to search my balls."_

Raven's eyes rolled over to them, bored. Dark energy erupted from their soggy burgers, sending fast-food shrapnel squishing all over their faces.

Starfire continued on, oblivious in the highest fashion, "I also checked the female's room-of-rest to no avail. I attempted to check the male's room-of-rest as well, but that only seemed to cause odd desirings of mating by the males and outrage by some of the females, so I refrained from re-entering. Perhaps if I conducted a secondary search I would find some of the answers that Robin is looking for."

One of the guys wiped burger-explosion from his pimply face, _"I'd like to conduct a secondary search with her in the bath room."_

"_Oh snap!"_

Raven's eyes rolled over to them, bored. Twin flashes of dark energy broke their seats out from under them, causing them to fall on their asses.

Starfire posed with her finger on her lip, thoughtfully. An idea dawned on her. Her green eyes shifted to look at Raven, and a sultry smile spread across her lips.

"Mayhaps, Raven, the Mumbo has 'illusioned' himself to hide in places that one would not usually search."

"Very likely, Starfire. But I'm willing to bet it isn't anywhere near Mooby the Golden Calf." Raven gestured despairingly at the life size mascot immediately behind her.

"Possibly not. But Raven… perhaps the Mumbo has magiced himself inside of your sex?"

….

"What?"

"All I am suggesting is," Starfire toed the ground nervously, "Maybe the Mumbo has used his reality-bending ways to hide himself somewhere within the depths of your vagina and it will require much probing using fingers, tongues, and multiple phallic instruments to find him, all administer by myself, of course!" she finished with a big smile.

…

Silence reigned over the Mooby's. Everyone was staring at the alien girl.

Several individuals threw up, more had creamed their jeans.

"_Dude,"_ the guy said, _"Awesome." _His buddy nodded.

Raven's eyes rolled over to them, bored. An explosion of black energy caused the speaking boy's head to explode, raining down wet gray matter, gallons of sticky blood and skull shards.

Raven stood up, in a huff, "No, Starfire. You may not 'probe' me in any way shape or form. And Mumbo is definitely, totally, and entirely _**not**_ hiding in my vagina."

"_DUDE!"_ the still living other guy cried, _"W-why would you do that? He was my best friend, my only friend in the world, and you killed him! Killed him dead! Why? Why would you do that, you're supposed to be a hero!"_

Raven stared down at the guy. Black energy encased his fingernails and they flew off his fingers bloodily. As he opened his mouth to scream in pain a blade of black energy sliced his tongue off. It landed on the ground with a sick squishing sound and flapped about for a moment. Raven then delivered the coup de grace and put her size four boot right square in his crotch, hard. She looked at him square in his crying eyes and said, "Because you talk in all italics, and that annoys the fuck outta me."

The poor boy thumped over, envying his friend's condition.

Raven's eyes rolled over to Starfire, bored. "Lets go, Star. We're not going to find anything here."

_**333**_

"So," Cyborg eyed the woman at the receptionist desk, "Can I just say… I wanna fuck you doggie-style?"

The young woman ripped her expensive blouse to shreds without a moment's hesitation, "TAKE ME!"

"PUSSAI!!" Cyborg cheered as he jumped over the desk and stared, loudly, doing the receptionist doggie-style.

"Cyborg! You need to act your age, that is totally IN-appROpriate!" Robin lectured.

The families sitting in the hospital's waiting center looked at the scene, bumfuzzled.

"Mommy," a little boy tugged on his mother's sleeve, "What is Cyborg doing to that lady."

"He's doing something very naught, Jimmy. Don't look!"

"If it's naughty then why's Daddy video taping it?"

"Because son," the father exclaims, "Daddy can put this on the internet and make a lot of money."

Robin stamped his foot into the ground and twisted it, "Cyborg! I'm super-cereal! We're trying to catch Mumbo and you're too busy 'hugging' every woman we investigate!"

The Dad with the video camera moved in for a closer shot, "I've never seen such vigorous hugging."

"Yeah, biz-natch! I'ma 'hug' you like you've never been hugged before!" Cyborg moaned.

"OH YEAH! CYBORG! HUG ME! HUG ME HARDER! OOOOOH YA! HUG ME ALL THE WAY UP MY PUSSY WITH YOUR COCK SO ITS OBVIOUSLY NOT HUGGING OOOOHYA!"

…

"Cyborg, I'm really super-cereal!"

_**333**_

Beast Boy was hibernating in bear form in the middle of downtown park. Why?

He did it for the lulz.

_**333**_

The Titans sat in the Main Room, thoroughly worn out.

"Gee whiz, guys! Are you cereal? Or are you just goofing with my brain! You mean to tell me that we can't even find Mumbo?"

Cyborg and the receptionist rolled over the top of the couch. A loud _POP_ sounded and then Cyborg's head appeared from the mess of entwined limbs… sticky, "Yup. 'Bout the size of it bro."

"Well, golly." Robin swung his fist limply in thru the air.

"_THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT! I WIN!"_ Mumbo's voice echoed around the room.

They all groaned, "Yes, Mumbo." (except the receptionist, who groaned: HUG ME LOWER!)

A bulge formed in the crotch of Raven's leotard, the fabric was shoved aside buy a white-gloved hand, and Mumbo stepped out into the Room.

"That's right! That's right, I win! I win! I win the game of hide and seek!"

Robin's lower lip pouted out, "Yeah, you win."

"And that means," Mumbo pointed a finger in the air, "I get the prize! So, tell me Robin. Just what the blue hell was in your briefcase at the end of that one episode where you had that big race?"

Robin, after pouting a moment further, reached into his cape and pulled out said briefcase. He opened it up and pulled out it's contents, holding it out in the open air. "It's one of my Mommy's fingers that got popped right off when she died in that circus accident."

"Aha! So that's the secre-… what? Oh dude, … that's seriously sick." Mumbo said, looking greener than usual as maggots twisted out of the ruined flesh.

"Y'know what else is seriously sick?" Raven says with vague interest, "After all the intimate relations H has put me thru in _Interlude_ and the various incarnations of 3rd wall, I didn't even fell him in there."

* * *

_A/N: I'd just like to point out that, by looking at the reviews its quite obvious that I update with award winning slowness. The first chapter of this was posted in '06. The second chapter in '07 and this third chapter in '08._

_Heres to punctuality! Shit... heh. G'night folks. _


	4. Tcubed

**C**_h_**a**_p_**t**_e_**r**_** 4: It's Grrrrreat!**_

So, there they was. The Titans, sitting in the Main Room, doing the same old same old.

Robin was sitting on the couch, fingering his vagina.

Beast Boy was focusing all of his energy on not eating meat.

Cyborg was busy 'hugging' Starfire, Terra, and Raven all at once… cuz he's got three 'joysticks'… so to speak. Now, don't ask me what a joystick has to do with hugging, but I know all about what a 'joystick' as to do with 'hugging'. Quote marks are important, son!

So, there they was, just chillin' n' shit.

That's when Tony the Tiger walked thru the door and into the Main Room.

If you have to ask me/yourself why Tony the Tiger is in a Teen Titans fanfiction, then you haven't read any of the previous versions of 3rd Wall. I and the rest of the readers feel terribly sorry for you.

"Hey, guys." His Tigerness said as he came thru the door reading a newspaper, "I just got done taking a massive grumpy in the main bathroom so you may not want to go in there for three or four days, cuz I'm pretty sure it killed Silkie."

Starfire was being 'hugged' so good she didn't even notice.

Because he's black and therefore socially gifted, Cyborg was the one to respond, "Sup, T-Cubed! How's it hanging?"

"Low and to the left. So, I see you're having a foursome." T-Cubed dropped casually.

"Yeah, you know I like to squeeze in as much sex as possible before I go smoke crack."

T-Cubed nodded, "I hear ya man. I've been there, back in the day when kids still ate frosted flakes. I mean, what do you think made them frosted?"

Cyborg's eyebrow rose in concentration as he hugged the hell out of his three female teammates, "I always assumed it was your jizz! But now you're telling me its crack?"

"Wrong and right on both counts, Cyborg my friend. It was a mixture of my jizz AND crack that made the flakes frosted."

"Oh, I see. You must've been quite the player."

"Yeah, but those days are behind me now." T-Cubed said sullenly.

Cyborg, not wanting to see his friend saddened, said, "Ah, cheer up, T-Cubed, Saint H just made a new version of 3rd wall."

"Really?" T-Cubed's face brightened, "When did it start?"

"06."

"…Wow. I feel out of the loop. Anyway, a lot must've changed. I mean a 3rd Wall fic is going on and you're only having a foursome. H must be slackin', one more member and you've got an orgy on you're hands."

"True dat." Cyborg nodded, "True dat."

And that's when a most _Magical_ idea dawned upon our beloved T-Cubed, "Say, Cyborg. You don't mind if I get in on the other end of that, do ya?"

"Jump on in, man! I've got a fourth cock if you want it-"

"No! No. No cock for me thanks."

"Suit yourself man, means more for me." Cyborg said, taking his fourth cock and ramming it up his own ass.

… uh, I mean 'joystick' up his own ass. Gotta be kid friendly.


	5. lulz

"Oh my GAAAWWWDD!" the red haired teen slithered sideways thru the air, bleeding from the upper arm, " I NEED MOAR FUCKING HEROINE!"

"Ok, srsly." Robin tapped his foot impatiently, "This is totlly inappropria-"_**BANG!**_

Robin's grey matter and skull shrapnel littered the wall as his blood painted the room in sticky, coagulating filth.

Beast Boy's head popped up from behind the couch where he and Cyborg were both jerking it to porn, "Noice! Just like fuckin' Post!"

Raven immediately started dry humping the now twitching corpse of the Boy Wonder. Starfire, growling, proceeded to challenge her noir teammate for the position. This soon degenerated into a smexy underwear femme-wrestling match in Robin's blood and cranial fluid.

Cyborg looked back, "Wait for it…. WAIT FOR IT!"

Raven and Starfire noticed the other in their underwear and began to relieve their carnal frustrations.

…or…

Raven and Starfire started fucking each other hardcore.

Cyborg cheered, "YES! SAINT H! THANK YOU, GAAAAWWWDDDDDSPLOOGE!"

Cyborg's semen launched spectacularly into the air as droplettes of cum rained down onto the scene in graceful archs, covering it in a flood of African sperm.

Also, Silkie was snorting cocaine. T-Cubed ate a sandwich. It had bacon on it.

….

_**Yeah….**_

**C**_h_**a**_p_**t**_e_**r **_**5: Time to Eat the Fuck You Sammich!**_

Jericho sat in the park, around him was a harem of various immaculate women and, in some cases, rather gorgeous men. Jericho was strumming mindlessly on his guitar and his audience was captivated. How? Marijuana laced with shrooms. But more on that later.

Just as the legacy of Haight and Ashbury was about to climax in psychedelic ecstasy a dark figure appeared.

"HOLY CUNT-BLOOD-BISCUITS, BATMAN!" Robin called out from an adjacent park bench, "ITS SLA-"_**BANG!**_

…

Raven and Starfire started fucking each other hardcore.

The man's shadow cast itself over the revelings, laying down ominous portents where joviality formerly frolicked.

Jericho's face contorted in mute horror.

Slade smiled behind his metal mask, "Yes, the time has come, little Joey, to face your father. Come on now, it won't be that bad, son." Slade's voice growled around the final word, lacing it with penile vengeance.

Jericho stood in a battle stance.

Slade pulled out a large, well-oiled black dildo.

Jericho face-faulted.

"WILSCEST!" Slade put some glompzorz on his offspring.

…..

Jericho awoke some time later in the dimly lit steel belly of the beast that was his father's lair. Some mildly rusted chains connected his extremities to the wall. A door with a barred window in line with his face stood before him grimly. The rest of the room was empty save for shade and the semi-real, pained echoes of the room's past occupants.

Shaking drops of sweat from his face, Jericho looked around for something to escape with. He found nothing.

The door opened smoothly. His father's footsteps betrayed no break in cadence as he strolled into the room, "It's time to start, son."

Jericho's right hand formed a very infamous rude gesture.

"Now Joey," he purred like a jaguar, "That's not a good start to our _bonding_, is it?" He produced a long, phallic object from behind his back and slapped it into his other palm.

Jericho's mute throat swallowed involuntarily.

"Lets begin."

……..(a few moments later)

"SKANK DANCE! SKANK DANCE!"

Slade and Jericho skanked around Slade's lair as _catch_y ska tunes came over the PA.

It switched to anarcho-punk.

"SLAM DANCE! MOSH PIT!"

The slade-bots joined in as the father and son violently threw their weight about in tune with music, the two smiling as they wallowed in the familial camaraderie.

Then Slade raped his son anally. He ripped the sphincter in the process.

Lol

**333**

The sounds of digitized bloodshed filled the darkened common room as flashes of colors splashed violently on the walls. Cyborg and Beast Boy's fingers mashed furiously at their controllers.

"So, if I masturbate, is it bestiality?"

**333**

"Raven?"

"Yes, Starfire?"

"Have you ever wondered why we are often portrayed as veritable nymphomaniacs in every story Saint H has ever put us in?"

"Probably because he knows that we really love the dick."

"Oh… indeed."

"…"

"…"

**333**

The teacher spoke as she wheeled the TV into the classroom, "And today we'll be watching a very special video from a very special citizen of our very special City!"

Killing the lights, she pressed play and took her seat.

The children squealed with delight as Robin's face appeared on the screen.

"Hey kids, I'm Robin, leader of the Teen Titans! Do you ever feel like giving up? Do you ever feel like you can't win? Do you ever feel like you're not good at anything? Me too. Just like that one time whenever Slade made me play the Ganymede to his Zeus. In anycase, I'm here to tell you some good news! You are a very specia-" _**BANG!**_

Despite the fact that the bullet had hit the TV, Robin's headless corpse flew from the wreckage and crashed amongst the fourth grader's desks.

…

…

_**Really? …fuck**_

….

In absence of Raven and Starfire all the little fourth grade girls started to fuck the corpse mercilessly, shouting cries of glory for the Phoibos Serpentine and dedicating their souls to an eternity in the harem of hell. Why would they do this? Mainly for the lulz.

**333**

Shit, I am rusty. It's whatever though. I still managed to get plenty of dick and rape jokes in. So it's fine. I need to work on toning down my rhetoric.

…

God dammit… fuck my life.(lol)


	6. Flip FlopBitches

_**Saint H's Author's Note del Pointlessness:**_

_**Lulz**_

Flip-Flop

"I enjoy phallic objects!" Starfire yelled in the main room, "I enjoy partaking in forcibly inserting phallic objects into my rectum!" Her hands clapped over her mouth quickly, as if in an attempt to shove the words back into her mouth.

"What the fuck is wrong with that cunt?" Beast Boy asked from the kitchen area. He blinked. "Why the fuck did I say that shit? … shit."

Raven walked up beside him, "I WANT YOU INSIDE ME..." her face looked pained. Her features frowned and through gritted teeth she managed to mumble, "Not…really…BUT YEAH I TOTALLY WANT BUTT SEX WITH YOUR HORSE COCK, BEAST BOY!"

"Bitch-nagstic, what the fuck? Why the fuck are we fucking saying all these weird fucking things?"

"I am unaware of the cause of our sudden involuntary vocal-difficulties. Perhaps someone could silence me by shoving a dick in my mouth? Eep!" Starfire slapped her hands over her mouth again.

Raven's face returned to it's pained state. Her lips pursed together tightly. After a few moments she was unable to hold it, "OCTOPUS TENTACLE RAPE!"

"…Bitch, that's some repugnant shit."

A side door opened and Cyborg walked into the room, "Amigos!"

"The fuck do you want, nig?"

"Cyborg, have you come to stimulate my alien clitoris?"

"HYDRAULIC BLACK COCK!"

"Ay no! Ustedes tienen palabras sucios! Yo estoy halbando espanol! No puedo halbar ingles! No comprendo que hablo! Ay carumba!"

"Bitch, you're talking like a spic, you should be talking like the nigger you are!"

"Que halbas?" Cyborg frowned threateningly at the small green teen.

Beast Boy backed up a few steps, hands out in front of him apologetically, "Fucker I can't stop speaking like this! I'm sorry you're mad but something is obviously up, so go ass fuck your dead mom!" Beast Boy's face went pale at the last comment.

Cyborg's jaw went slack.

Starfire's hands kept her mouth shut.

Raven's pain face exclaimed, "I'LL FUCK HIS DEAD MOM!"

…

"Damn, can't believe you said that shit, cunt."

"Robin no esta aqui . Donde esta?""1 4lVl I21&I-I7 I-I3123!!!!1!" Robin's distorted voice came from the recently opened main doorway.

"Aw cunt-blood-biscuits! Robin's talking fucking leet."

"Como es possible?"

"I317(I-I, U I)0I\I7 I-I4\/3 73I-I (0I2I23(7 I?UI\I(7U4710I\I 4 U12 5I?4I\I15I-I!"

"I WANT LEET SKILLZ IN MY PUSSY!"

"His ass-monkey leet is so advanced it's fucking incomprehensible!"

Starfire's hands pulled away slightly from her face, "I am unsure how Robin is even vocalizing such things, but it is making me want to rub my groin against his in a slow, provocative fashion. Eep!" _Slap!_

"\/\/7I= zors?!?!?!?!"

_Elsewhere_

Control Freak watched the chaos from his living room, chortling to himself. I would describe more of this, but I'm already bored with the whole idea altogether. I think I'll just make this a very short chapter of Third Wall…

Yeah…. **C**_h_**a**_p_**t**_e_**r _6... Bitches_**


	7. A Brief Yet Triumphant Romp

**C**_h_**a**_p_**t**_e_**r **_**7 O rly?(A Brief Yet Triumphant Romp)**_

Beast Boy walked pass the couch where Raven was habitual reading some dark, mysterious book that for all it's dark, mysteriousness was probably just some gothic smut novel that she was waiting for everyone to leave the room so she could rub her cunt while skimming over the juicy parts, which would lead to fingering, to fisting and finally culminating in terrific, blood-curdling-scream-inducing, hawt deemin klymax!!!!…

…

Anyway, Beast Boy walked pass the couch where Raven was reading, "Hey Raven? Uh, know how we always seem to be having random sex in these H fics?"

Raven's eyes shifted to him over the top of her book, a sign to continue.

"Well, uh." Beast Boy fumbled over his words, "I was thinking that maybe we could, umm, actually… gooutsometime DON'T HURT ME!!!"

Raven's eyes strayed back to her por- dark, mysterious literature, "Is your name Tom Gabel?"

Beast Boy looked confused, but answered nonetheless, "Uh, no."

"Do you look like Tom Gabel?"

Beast Boy scratched his head, "Probably not."

"Then no, I'm not legitimately interested in have any kind of intimate relations with you. Sorry."

"But-but" Beast Boy's hands grasped the air unthinkingly searching for an answer, "What about all those times we fucked? Just because H was writing then, does that make them any less real?"

"Yes. Just like how the series went on for years and we never aged, and here years later we're still not any older. Just like age doesn't affect us, those author choreographed sexual exploits don't count for shit, BB. As far as I'm concerned, I'm still a virgin. Which would explain all the cobwebs up there..."

After a moment of looking around the main room pleadingly Beast Boy sulked out of the room.

"Huh, didn't take you for an Against Me! fan, Raven." Starfire said from the kitchen counter, blowing out a steady stream of smoke from her cigarette.

"Starfire, since when do you smoke?" Raven said, lowering her tome-o-smut momentarily.

"Shit, Rae." Starfire smiled crookedly, "After all we've been through in these H fics how can you even ask me that?"

"Fair enough."

"But back to my question, since when are you the Eternal Cowgirl?"

Raven shrugged, "It's not so much that I'm a big Against Me! fan as much as I just have wet dreams about Tommy boy. I mean, the music is fine and whatnot but mostly, yeah, I just want full penetration from Tom Gabel."

Starfire took a long drag from her cig, "I see. Makes sense."

Raven's gaze shifted slightly to the prone form laying on the kitchen counter, "What's wrong with Robin?"

Starfire gave Raven a cynical look.

"H fics?" Raven hazarded a guess.

The alien nodded, "He's still passed out from speaking so much leet last chapter."

"But last chapter was barely a page long. How does that work?"

"Maybe you were too busy yelling about tentacle rape or whatever to notice, but that was grade A leet last chapter. A body can only take so much impossibility being forced upon itself by an author before it just wears down."

"Is that why in so many shitty fics we don't even resemble ourselves? The author just fucks us up so much that we don't even know who we are anymore?"

"Indeed."

Silkie busted up into the room, "Bitches!!! What does this have to do with the Gaslight Anthem???"

A second Silkie busted up into the room, "Bitch!!! None of H's readers will get that joke!!!"

The first Silkie turned to the second, "How do you know they don't go to PunkNews?(.org) Or listen to that band?"

The second Silkie contemplated this for a moment, "You bring up a strong argument." So the second Silkie whipped out his switch-blade as stabbed the first one in the neck.

T-Cubed came down from the ceiling, "YES! LARVA KNIFE FIGHT!"

A crowd of spectators gathered, shouting a jeering the two insectoid combatants as the first Silkie pulled out his own switch-blade and the two started to circle one-another.

"What the fuck?" Raven said, ogling the occurrence.

"Oh dear." Starfire mumbled, "It's starting."

"What?" Raven asked.

"An H fic." She mumbled, "It's starting, he's beginning to write."

_**Actually, I've been writing for two pages now…**_

"Here we go." Starfire sighed, stamping out her cigarette.

Beast Boy sprinted back into the room at full speed…

…

Wearing a Tom Gabel mask.

"Hey Raven! I'm Tom Gabel, let me make full penetration!"

Raven squinted at him, "Beast Boy, that's obviously just you with a Tom Gabel mask on trying to seduce me- FUCK YES TAKE MY PUSSY TOMMY! AHHHHH!"

Starfire frowns at you, "See what I have to deal with? I don't hate it though. It's a job. Oh well, business time. Ahem... Oh trepidations! What is forth-coming from friend Raven's nethers?"

And, indeed, in response to Raven's climatic screams, a giant red bulge of flesh was expanding out from her va-jay-jay.

"Oh snizzap nigga!" Beast Boy said from behind his Tom Gabel mask.

Cyborg busted into the room, pointing a shining, metal finger at the red mass now taking the form of Trigon that was seeping out of Raven's pussy, "Ay No! ROJO MALAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"

"Cy, are you still speaking Spanish from last chapter?"

Cyborg shrugged, "Oh, nah. I just thought I'd give it a second try. I think I kinda like it but last chapter wasn't long enough for me to really make a verdict, Beast Boy."

He nodded, "Oh, I see. But I'm not Beast Boy, you must be confused, I'm Tom Gabel."

Cyborg nodded conspiratorially, "… Who?"

"_**MORTALS!"**_ Trigon's voice ripped through the heavens, _**"TREMBLE AND DESPAIR, FOR DOOM HAS COME TO YOU WORL-KA! KAH! HAAAACCK-SPLOOH! UH, SORRY, CAUGHT A COBWEB IN MY THROAT FROM RAVEN'S PUSSY HOLE. IT'S FUCKIN' DUSTY DOWN THERE, NOT THAT I REALLY GET HOW, SHE'S A LITTLE SLUT."**_

"Daddieeee!" Raven whined, "No I'm not! Quit tell that to the cosmos! You're embarrassing me!"

"Yeah!" Beast Boy slid in front of her defensively, "Stop that!"

"_**AND WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO DENY ME?"**_

"My name is, TOM GABEL!!!" Beast Boy pronounced triumphantly.

Cyborg rolled his eyes.

"_**TOM GAYBALLS?"**_

Cyborg, Raven and Starfire snickered. Even the unconscious carcass of Robin smiled a little in his sleep.

"N-No, not Gayballs, Gabel!"

"_**WHATEVER TOM GAYBALLS, CHILL OUT. IT'S NO REASON TO ACT LIKE A PANSY."**_

"I wasn't acting like a pansy!" Beast Boy screamed up at the looming figure of Trigon, "And it's Gabel!"

"_**WHATEV. I'M GONNA GO ENSLAVE A UNIVERSE, THEM I'M COMING BACK TO KILL YOU ALL AND, I DON'T KNOW, SLATHER MY DAUGHTER'S BODY IN YOUR BLOOD BEFORE I RAPE HER? YEAH, NOT SURE WHY I'D DO THAT BUT IT SOUNDS SUFFICIENTLY EVIL, SO I'LL GO FOR IT. PEACE OUT TOM GAYBALLS."**_

Beast Boy leaned out the side of the Tower and bellowed after the departing form of Trigon, "TOM GABEL!"

…

"Who?"

_**333**_

A white screen is presented to you. The form of T-Cubed strolls out to the middle, "Hey kids, it's me, everyone's favorite jungle-cat turned Cooltastic Pimpmaster, T-Cubed. This is an intermission from the chapter. As you can probably tell from the quality of the chapter, H just woke up and is rather bored and is doing this entire chapter stream of conscious instead of planning what would happen next and try to slip some random, funny sex humor in there. This leads to a downgrade in the quality of the chapter, but H feels bad for giving you guys such a piss-poor excuse for a chapter last time, so he thought he'd try this out. Although he does find parts of this mildly amusing.

"In any case, with the PSA now over, lets get on with the rest of the intermission…

"LARVA KNIFE FIGHT!!!!!"

....

Now a boxing ring with the two Silkies is present, they're circling eachother with respective switch blades.

At a table nearby sits T-Cubed with a sports jacket and a microphone, "Hello, this is your announcer for the fight, T-Cubed, I'm joined today by my good friend Beast Boy."

Beast Boy popped out from under the table, he eyed the cereal icon from behind his plastic mask, "Tom Gabel."

"Ugh, Tom Gabel."

Cyborg's head popped out of the crowd, "Who?"

Trigon's voice melted through the air, "_**TOM GAYBALLS…"**_

"FUCK YOU TRIGON!" Beast Boy screamed to the heavens.

"In anycase, we're about to get underway with the first round here, and… go!"

_DING-DING!_

"OK, and the two contestants are still circling eachother. OH! One Silkie lunged for the other, but he dodge with leet pwnage skillz and ended up slicing off the very end of the other Silkie! Now the other Silkie turns, growling. WOW! Now they're fighting all Samuria Champloo stylee! I sure wish you folks at home could see this amazing display of power! Or at least had an author who wasn't so lazy as to describe it! This is probably the most action-packed thing ever! OH MY GOODNESS! They collided their weapons so hard that both blades shattered! Now they're fighting hand to hand… er… whatever those little feeler things are called. Beast Bo-er… Tom Gabel, what do you think of the fight?'

Beast Boy was jerking it under the table to a picture of Kevin Smith.

"OK, and back to the fight! OH! Left hook! Gut punch! Body slam! Where'd he get that sledge hammer? NO! NOT LIKE HBK! NOT LIKE HBK! OH THIS IS BRUTAL! Wait! Wait… he's out of it? He's out of it! Headlock! Headlock! Cross-face! CROSS-FACE!!! Now they're in each other's face, they're on the ground, rolling around, wrestling each other! Face to face! Oh this is brutal! Oh the humanity!"

Cyborg leaned in from the crowd, "Hey, T-Cubed, I don't thing they're wrestling, that looks like they're getting to second base."

"Cyborg, that's just inappropriate."

"No, for real, they're getting it on."

"Cyborg, please just look at the ring, these two combatants are clearly in the fight of their lives and are totally and completely not getting it o- Ok now they're 69ing."

Cyborg nodded deviantly, "Hot worm on worm akshun. Si, muchisimo gusto."

"I'm sorry for this everyone, but we can't continue to broadcast this filth! I am truly sorry tha-"

Beast Boy flipped the table over, pounding his tiny green meat furiously, "OH YES! YES! SILENT BOB! YES! JERSEY GIRL! AAAAHHHHH-SPLOOGE!"

From the tiny, pointed end of Beast Boy's green cock came forth and unproportional amount of sticky white semen which rained down upon the entire crowd. A large stream of steaming cum managed to hit the 69ing larva clones dead on. For a moment nothing happened, but then their GMO asses reacted with the changeling's semen and something miraculous happened. Their forms started morphing. They grew to near normal human size and shape. They were slender, with long hair. Their voices became human and before too long…

"OH GOD, JINX!"

"YEAH, TERRA?"

"LICK MY PUSSY!"

"OH GOD, YOUR PUSSY TASTES SO GOOD!"

"I DON'T KNOW HOW WE GOT HERE, WHY WE'RE 69ING, WHERE THIS SEMEN CAME FOR OR WHY WE'RE NAKED BUT I LOVE IT!!!"

Cyborg rubbed his metal hands together, "Yo mismo, puntas."

T-Cubed stuttered into his microphone, "Sorry folks, but the announcer has gotta get in on this. At the site of the two semen drenched teenage chicks going at eachother's muffs the (mostly male) crowd has gotten naked and are starting the biggest orgy in Saint H history! I myself am about to enter this ring and give the two young ladies a much needed Y chromosome, and I have a feeling my partner in crime, the good Cyborg, will help me in my endeavor."

"Mas o menos, si podemos!"

"Signing off, this is T-Cubed, buh-bye now. YEOW!"

The two jumped into the ring, whipping out their twin cocks and started going to town on the two jizz-drenched honeys.

Beast Boy hopped into the ring as well, a single strand of his own dick-juice dangling from his mask, "Hey! Tom Gabel wants in on this!"

Jinx's head popped out of the foursome, "Heh, Tom Gayballs."

Terra's head popped out on the opposite end, "Who?"

_**333**_

"It seems we are unable to stop the evil Trigon!" Starfire screamed to her teammates while peppering his dark red hide with starbolts.

Cyborg stood his ground while firing his sonic cannon at the beast, "This is worse than that time Starfire put her period blood in that batch of cookies!"

"Ah! I can't seem to drive him back like I did in the fourth season!" Raven cried.

Beast Boy sat in front of Trigon with an acoustic guitar, singing Against Me! songs. Even the occasional single from Heart Burns. Every now and then a little bit of that one really popular song by Everlast would crawl in, despite it not sounding like any of the others at all.

"We seem to be missing something!" Raven said above the sounds of battle.

"I'm right here!" Robin said from where he was perched on the very top spire of a magnificent cathedral, the sun rising gloriously behind him as a flock of doves flew past and victorious trumpets sounded joyously in the distance.

"Robin!"

"Robin!"

"Robin!"

"CONCEPTUAL PATHS WIDE OPEN, I'M SCARED TO DEATH! EXISTENTIAL WEIGHT NO LONGER HOLDS YOU BACK!"

A passerby with short-ish, dyed black hair and a scruffy face threw a trashcan at the changeling, "Stop butchering that song!"

That Goth kid from the series walked up behind him, "Against Me! totally sold out."

The passerby threw a trashcan at the Goth kid too.

"_**WHAT CAN YOU POSSIBLY DO AGAINST ME**_(haha)_** ROBIN? YOU ARE A MORTAL, AND I AM A GOD OF HELL!!!"**_

"I may be a mortal, but the author of this whole story gave me a great power! IVI4551\/3 1337 5I(l11zzz0125!!!"

"_**WHAT? WHAT DID HE SAY?"**_

"130\/\/ 1)0\/\/l\l 71211317(I-I! 00013312-i?\/\/I\I4&3!!!!!!"

"_**NO! HIS LEET IS SO ADVANCED IT'S INCOMPREHENSIBLE! MY POWERS ARE WANING!"**_

"70457312-0\/3I\I!"

"_**NOOOO! I AM DEFEATED!"**_

And then Trigon 'sploded.

Boom.

…

"So, Raven?" Beast Boy sauntered up to her, "No that this is all over, you want to make love to me, Tom Gabel, some time?"

"Beast Boy," Raven dead-panned, "Even if you were Tom Gabel, I just gave birth to a 10 story tall demon, my vagina is in no shape to do anything-" Raven caught sight of the fact that Beast Boy was wearing a Tom Gabel mask, a detail she had somehow thusly been oblivious of… how? Because I said so, bitch. "-TOM GABEL! OMFGuuush TAYK ME PUSSAI!!!!"

…

"..Who?"

-_tch_, Starfire lit up another cigarette.


End file.
